Once upon a time

Not much to say.

30,443 notes

People always make Juliet out to be dumb in Romeo and Juliet, but I think she at least had some sense where Romeo didn't have much of any

Romeo:
I was thinking about this chick earlier who I said I was in love with but now I love that girl over there that is very likely to either belong to my family's enemy or be close with my family's enemy as it is their party I am crashing
Juliet:
I do not like being so young and forced into a relationship with an older man, but oh there's a cute guy more my age over there. And since he's here he must have been invited and is there for a reasonable love match for myself
--
Romeo:
We should kiss right now at this party
Juliet:
No that is a super dumb idea
Romeo:
*kisses her anyway*
Juliet:
That was dumb of you
--
Romeo:
We should get married right now
Juliet:
We don't know each other. Shouldn't we wait until at least a little time has passed?
Romeo:
Like tomorrow?
Juliet:
Sure, fine.
--
Juliet:
We're married now, so we have to try and make things better between our families.
Romeo:
Right.
Romeo:
It seems I have killed your cousin and am now exiled.
--
Juliet:
Ok so since Romeo fucked up I'm gonna fix this shit by taking a harmless sleeping liquid. He'll come and get me and we can go away together.
Romeo:
*immediately kills himself*
Juliet:
For fucks sake.

99,346 notes

rodham-clinton:

really all you need to know about the american health care system is that there’s a popular tv series where a man turns to cooking industrial quantities of crystal meth in order to pay his hospital bills

(via angelfrost)

5,610 notes

Most fighting videogames:
Lots of dudes on steroids and really busty chicks with the occasional mismatched character
Super Smash Bros:
Wanna fight as a plumber? Here you go. Swordsman elf? Done. Electric mouse? No problem. Penguin with a hammer in a Santa suit? Okie dokie. Magic princess? Sure. Space furries??? YOU GOT IT BRO